A.P. Bio by Caliope Gallagher

“I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest 

when all you want is to be with someone.” – Dan Howell

I think about this statement every time I walk into AP Bio.

I have learned everything there is to know about photosynthesis.

We have learned every tiny minute detail

Right down to the very core of cellular respiration.

And yet we have not figured out this pain we feel. Maybe Dan Howell got it wrong.

Maybe it is not biology but psychology. Psychologically thinking

About a pain that is not there. Because how can a phantom wound

Hurt more than an actual wound? Biology has taught me all

About the structure of a cell, the five extinctions,

And yet nothing about the pain of wanting to be with someone.

Maybe it is not biology or psychology. Maybe it is not science.


How can science explain love? 

How can science explain anything but science?


Science hasn’t seen the inside of a black hole.

A black hole is what you left in my heart.

Loneliness is like a black hole. It sucks everything in

And swallows it up. But unlike a black hole, in loneliness

There is light. So why does this phantom pain manifest within us

When we are missing someone the most? How can biology explain that

When all you want to do is be with someone you begin to ache?

You ache for them and can’t stop thinking about them.


I think about this quote every time I enter AP Bio.

I listen intently, and take all the notes I possibly can.

I sit listening…waiting…waiting….